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About Varied / Student John Henry Joseph Jacob JohnsonMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 1 Month
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I like it! it's smooth and unexpected. I will suggest a few things. Perhaps in the third paragraph you could use a different word inste...

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ethanw60
John Henry Joseph Jacob Johnson
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
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Too far from grace
underneath the golden
watch which sets my pace.

I tread carefully,
but not without haste.
My mind pretends to keep 
up, and as such,
is covered in the 
paste of my past.

Activity


an ethereal dimension
of unheard tormensions

salt in the wound
is what I crave

A beach of salt and shells, yet to share its touch of wet sand

we seek
somewhere.

where to find what is written of by me through you?

inside
someone.

Between where we are going and where we have been,
underneath the ocean's veil of moonshade crested crest's,

a callow dimension
of abeyant sensation.

we can't be there, because we are here. 

but we can't stay here, because we were there.

so why do we seek? no. WHERE do we seek.

trivialize yourself

and go to bed.

Too far from grace
underneath the golden
watch which sets my pace.

I tread carefully,
but not without haste.
My mind pretends to keep 
up, and as such,
is covered in the 
paste of my past.
I like it! it's smooth and unexpected. I will suggest a few things. Perhaps in the third paragraph you could use a different word instead of "plus" for the second time. It kind of throws a bit of a knot in the silkiness you had up to that point. Also, The boogey-priest is an interesting character, but seems to be all over the place with his stance on himself. Possibly try to add another paragraph or two about his past and his justifications in "saving" children.

I think its pretty good, and makes me think it could be the start of a really good teen-action sci-fi-fi thriller series.
a silken light fallen from the moon couldn't have landed any lighter than her lips on my neck. a touch of her hand is needed to touch the floor again, and again I plummet back, wanting only to know her escape once more. and to escape with her for evermore.

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:iconloftydreams101:
Loftydreams101 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2017  Student Writer
Thank you for watching me. I appreciate it so much! 
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello! :wave:

:iconprojectcomment: has been an active group for seven years to help support artists like you, so welcome to our group! :heart:

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We hope you have an awesome time in our group! If you have any thoughts, suggestions, concerns, etc. please don't hesitate to send us a note! :typerhappy:
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:iconhopeburnsblue:
hopeburnsblue Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017  Professional Writer
Hi! Thanks so much for watching my gallery! :iconheartblueplz:
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:iconethanw60:
ethanw60 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017  New Deviant Student General Artist
your welcome, and thank you too, I enjoyed it!
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:iconcholm50:
cholm50 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello :) (Smile) 

You are new on Deviant Art so welcome to Deviant Art known as the largest online art gallery and community DeviantArtNew DA Logo (Badges)  deviantART  winker Fella (Reaction) DeviantArt Flag 
Remember to smile and keep being awesome.Llama Emoji 27 (Awesome) [V2] Cool Wink 
You have a good day. :) (Smile) Nommy smile 
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:iconethanw60:
ethanw60 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017  New Deviant Student General Artist
Coolcat always cool23. Cat 

thanks and see ya around 

coolrudeshadesplz Dancer Fella (Music Band) DJ Fella ( Music Band ) 
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:iconcholm50:
cholm50 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay, that's quite alright. :) 
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:iconshining-scribe:
Shining-Scribe Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Greetings! Welcome to :iconpoetic-poetry:, and thank you for choosing to join us. I hope our group will give you a chance to meet many other writers, enjoy many new styles and, most importantly, blossom and flourish as both a writer and a member of DA. :) (Smile)
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:iconethanw60:
ethanw60 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017  New Deviant Student General Artist
It is enjoyable thus far, thanks for the greetings, hope to see you and your art around. 
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:iconshining-scribe:
Shining-Scribe Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
I hope the same for you! :3
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